Now I Know - Ryan
Posted on 04 May 2020
How did it feel watching your wife go through the entire pregnancy?
I think it became gradually clear to me that she was making a lot of sacrifices as the months went by. It’s not just the food she has to give up, it’s how moving wasn’t as easy, how her legs and fingers would swell up to name a few and it’s a 9 month process. She went through 21 hours of labour before Tristan arrived and I think it was the most helpless and heartbreaking moment of my life because there was nothing I could do. At the end we had to go into an emergency c-sect but I can’t even describe how strong she was.
How old is Tristan now?
He will turn 6 months on the 17th of May.
What's something you now know about your wife since you’ve started working from home?
She’s a machine! My wife used to be someone that really needed her beauty sleep but now that I work from home I realise how little she sleeps because of all the things she has to do on top of taking care of T. I imagine what it would be like if I wasn’t around and I just think she’s doing such an amazing job. Now I know how difficult it is to be a stay at home mum because with work you can kind of press the pause button and take a break but there’s no such thing as a mum. You’re on standby 24/7.
What’s a day in her life like as a stay at home mum?
T’s the alarm really. She gets up at about 9am and then prepares to warm the milk for the first feed. After she’s done she plays with him for a little while, changing his diapers and such before he goes down again for his first nap. In this time, she just does the basic chores or catches up on sleep if the night before was rough. By noon he’s up again and the same pattern is repeated but adding more play time at the play pen, giving him some tummy time or just reading to him. After he’s put down for his nap again, she’d quickly have her lunch and start pumping milk.
Before you know it evening hits and it’s time for his shower and his next feed. She would have a quick dinner before giving him a massage and getting him ready for bed. He would ideally fall asleep by 10 and that’s when she starts washing all the bottles, doing his laundry (or folding them) and starts pumping again. By the time she gets to bed proper it's about 2am and she gets up again in a few hours to pump. There’s barely any time to do anything else.
What’s one thing that drives you crazy about Tristan?
His sleep patterns! He’s a little terror when it comes to that.
Can you share a memory of your wife that you hold close to your heart?
It was a day after the surgery and the recovery process was really hard. I’d known my wife for almost 5 years but I’d never once seen her in that much pain - she was trying to slowly move to a comfortable position on the bed and I saw her fighting the tears. I think for the first time in our marriage she saw that I might have been about to tear and told me, “Don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry too and it’ll hurt.”. I’ll never forget that evening.
Lastly, what would you like to say to your wife?
Thank you for your sacrifices in bringing T to the world and thank you for everything you do to make sure where we live is a home, not a house. I love you, and happy Mother’s Day.